Monday, 14 December 2009

Non-Linear Relationships

Mr TV Director is 10 years older than me.

He dislikes: eating out, cinema, concerts or sport.
He likes: making successful documentaries about war in Iraq, me visiting him at his flat in Notting Hill.

We still haven't seen each other since we have disagreed on 'fundamentals' two months ago.
But I have received an interesting proposition…

Beautiful but Grumpy: Amuse me – what else do you like if not blow jobs?
Mr TV Director: Anal play, both ways. Watching a woman play with herself. Any woman watching me, even if I don't fancy her.
A pause from me here...
Mr TV Director: So I like the idea of three because of all the watching and being watched.
BbG: So have you found the 3rd party for us yet?
Mr TV Director: Er… Not yet.
BbG: I might be able to get a couple soon.
Mr TV Director: Hmm. You could advertise us as a couple on gumtree.
BbG: Ha, ha. With photos?
Mr TV Director: Not allowed. But people reply with pics and then expect to be sent some.
BbG: You could try but I doubt people would believe us to be a couple.
Mr TV Director: More response to a woman! But I could do it from us both. But then you'd have to give me pics to send on.
BbG: Don't even start that trick with the pics! Ha, ha.
Mr TV Director: Yes. That is another thing that I like. But if not, you will need to send some on yourself.
BbG: You like taking pictures or just receiving?
Mr TV Director: Both good.
BbG: Nice. Are you not interested in what I like?
Mr TV Director: Oh. Do tell.
BbG: I can tell you that I don't like fingers inside me.
Mr TV Director: Oh? Oh!! What DO you like?
BbG: You will find out when you get us a girl.
A pause here - he's not replying.
BbG: …I like being touched the way you did at the Florence and the Machine gig.
Mr TV Director: Hmm. In public too.
BbG: And I like dinner tables. Don't you?
Mr TV Director: Oh yes. During a dinner party. Women only.
BbG: Kitchen tables are my favourite… I would love to be served instead of a desert… Bon appetit.
Mr TV Director: Mmmm, you taste lovely… And as I lick you I have two fingers inside you and one up your virgin bum. Mmm. You must taste me too before we leave the table. Feed on me…

7 comments:

UberGrumpy said...

Oh, yup, there you go. Balanced the poetry nicely. Phew.

When you say he doesn't like 'eating out', I presume you mean going to a restaurant. Just checking

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Oh my word, what is this blog turning into? Ha, love it.

Beautiful but Grumpy said...

Oh, Uber. I've just found out the second meaning:-) Yes, I meant restaurants.

Wombat said...

What man doesn't like blowjobs?

*rhetorical question only, I don't give a toss*

Thedailyspew said...

you dont like fingers inside you???

Beautiful but Grumpy said...

No I don't. I like big toe inside me. Ever tried that before?

Thedailyspew said...

big toe? left or right??