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| Photo: Akif Hakan Celebi |
Sometimes we just can't imagine how honesty can change the reality.
The Boss: Oh miss! My sister is coming to Brighton at the weekend and I have to meet her early Saturday morning. Can we postpone our Friday conference for another time? Sorry!x
I lay on my bed and think of what to reply. I should tell him to go to hell but my heart sinks. It meant so much to finally see him again.
Beautiful but Grumpy: Oh, I was really looking forward to seeing you. You’ll need to make it up to me big time!
The Boss: I know, sorry – family an all that. I will definitely make it up to you. I will save up all my energy so I will be like a sex dynamo!
BbG: Oh and what should I do with this freshly waxed Brazilian? Keep in on ice?
The Boss: Oh man... (heart skips beat).. actually, ice cubes + my mouth + your Brazilian would be something to write about.
The Boss: I know, sorry – family an all that. I will definitely make it up to you. I will save up all my energy so I will be like a sex dynamo!
BbG: Oh and what should I do with this freshly waxed Brazilian? Keep in on ice?
The Boss: Oh man... (heart skips beat).. actually, ice cubes + my mouth + your Brazilian would be something to write about.
BbG: Didn’t know you were good at maths... Ok, I forgive you this time. Have a great weekend x
15 min later...
The Boss: Stop Press! My sister got her stupid times wrong (she’s coming to Brighton via France, you see). She won’t be here till Saturday eve so your boss can still make Friday after all. Is that Brazillian still smooth?
BbG: I can’t make it this Friday – I’ve jumped out of the window, you see.
The Boss: Ok, but you must still be alive in order to send this text. All I need is a pulse and I can do the rest.
BbG: What if I had no nose? Would you still go ahead?
The Boss: You’ve got a dimmer on your light switch haven’t you?
BbG: You animal! What if I was making very strange noise (as a result of this accident, of course)?The Boss: I’d probably be breathing heavier.
BbG: What if I only had a head and the rest would be a machine [an unattractive machine (and no nose)...]?
The Boss: A double whisky and coke and i’m good to go.
BbG: You bustard!
The Boss: I think it’s romantic.
BbG: Sorry, have I spelled ‘bustard’ right?
The Boss: yeah, that’s the way Queen says it.
BbG: So you think it’s romantic to shag a human vegetable?
The Boss: I’d bring a rose.
BbG: And a nose!
The Boss: Miss secretary is getting very sarcastic. I think she needs a good dressing down. Even if she is just wires.
BbG: Ok, I admit, it’s romantic...
The Boss: There, that’s better.
BbG: Don’t patronise me!
The Boss: I tell you what, miss secretary, I’ve a good mind to stick my hand up your skirt for that sort of remark.
BbG: Luckily I’m wearing a polka dot skirt right now...laying on my bed...
The Boss: Well then I’d stick my hand up that polka dot skirt, pull your knickers to one side and roughly finger you to teach you a lesson.
BbG: And then I would roughly hand-job you (because I know you don’t like it).
The Boss: Ouch!
BbG: That wouldn’t make me stop. Oh no.
The Boss: I’d be the one jumping out of the window.
BbG: And we would live happily ever after.
The Boss: The End.
BbG: Not a beginning?
The Boss: We’re only just beginning. Why do I have a desire to stand you up and tongue you from behind? explain that.
BbG: Was there a song like this?
The Boss: Oh yeah. I think it was Kylie and Jason?
BbG: And look what happened to them.
The Boss: They had some good times though. And Kylie used to like having a hand up her skirt so I heard.
BbG: I’ll take it as a good omen.
BbG: I can’t make it this Friday – I’ve jumped out of the window, you see.
The Boss: Ok, but you must still be alive in order to send this text. All I need is a pulse and I can do the rest.
BbG: What if I had no nose? Would you still go ahead?
The Boss: You’ve got a dimmer on your light switch haven’t you?
BbG: You animal! What if I was making very strange noise (as a result of this accident, of course)?The Boss: I’d probably be breathing heavier.
BbG: What if I only had a head and the rest would be a machine [an unattractive machine (and no nose)...]?
The Boss: A double whisky and coke and i’m good to go.
BbG: You bustard!
The Boss: I think it’s romantic.
BbG: Sorry, have I spelled ‘bustard’ right?
The Boss: yeah, that’s the way Queen says it.
BbG: So you think it’s romantic to shag a human vegetable?
The Boss: I’d bring a rose.
BbG: And a nose!
The Boss: Miss secretary is getting very sarcastic. I think she needs a good dressing down. Even if she is just wires.
BbG: Ok, I admit, it’s romantic...
The Boss: There, that’s better.
BbG: Don’t patronise me!
The Boss: I tell you what, miss secretary, I’ve a good mind to stick my hand up your skirt for that sort of remark.
BbG: Luckily I’m wearing a polka dot skirt right now...laying on my bed...
The Boss: Well then I’d stick my hand up that polka dot skirt, pull your knickers to one side and roughly finger you to teach you a lesson.
BbG: And then I would roughly hand-job you (because I know you don’t like it).
The Boss: Ouch!
BbG: That wouldn’t make me stop. Oh no.
The Boss: I’d be the one jumping out of the window.
BbG: And we would live happily ever after.
The Boss: The End.
BbG: Not a beginning?
The Boss: We’re only just beginning. Why do I have a desire to stand you up and tongue you from behind? explain that.
BbG: Was there a song like this?
The Boss: Oh yeah. I think it was Kylie and Jason?
BbG: And look what happened to them.
The Boss: They had some good times though. And Kylie used to like having a hand up her skirt so I heard.
BbG: I’ll take it as a good omen.
1 comment:
Wow! I'm so glad it worked out in the end for your date! Can't wait to hear about it! :-)
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