Give me something to remember you by, Mr TV Director



Photo: Akif Hakan Celebi



My intuition does not fail me often. 

Hearing from Mr TV Director warms my heart temporarily - precisely until I am reminded how aloof and selfish he can be.

Here is how the text conversation goes:

Beautiful but Grumpy:  Hey, you were in my dream few days ago so just checking if you’re alright.

Mr TV Director: Oh? Did something awful happen?? I am fine.  And in Nigeria for a couple of weeks.

BbG: Nothing really. Just that in my dream I saw you coming back home after a voice cords operation. Let me know when you're back.

............. Two weeks later............

Mr TV Director: Hi. I’m back. Away again tomorrow for a week, but just to Bristol. Free this evening though.

BbG: I’ve got meetings till 9.30 tonight.

Mr TV Director: Is after that too late? Otherwise one evening next week maybe.

BbG: Well, 9.30 is not too late for a drink but too late for anything else.

Mr TV Director: Well it would be a shame to have anything else ruled out, even if one can’t presume...

BbG: I agree J next week then?

Mr TV Director: Ok!

BbG: Please remind me next week in case I forget...

Mr TV Director: In case you forget!? :O

BbG: Yeah! J

Mr TV Director: OK!

............A week later.............

Mr TV Director: Hello.

BbG: Hello J

Mr TV Director: It’s this week!

BbG: Oh, yes. Of course. Totally forgotten! So when are you free?

Mr TV Director: Any evening. I think. You forget too bloody easily!

BbG: Hopefully this time you will give me something to remember. I can do Friday. Actually i need both something to remember and something to write about. Can you do that?

Mr TV Director: To write about?? Not sure about Thur or Friday but an evening after work?

BbG: I can only do Friday this week. Well, see how your plans develop and let me know. Have a nice week! X

I sense my obsession with Mr TV Director is officially over. We can be friends now. 
Or lovers. Or both.

Past Perfect

Photo: Hakan Celebi

I sense a come-back theme in the air. People from the past are making their way back into my life.

Vera for example, a holiday 4-some playmate, with whom I lost touch a year ago, turns up unexpectedly at my firm’s event.
I see her standing at the conference room’s door, minutes before I am to deliver a presentation. Our eyes meet. I take a deep breath and walk slowly towards her. I take her by the arm and discreetly lead her aside.

‘What are you doing here?’ I whisper.

‘I was going to ask you the same question’ she answers looking confused but happy to see me.

Vera explains quietly that she’s got through the graduate recruiting programme, having finished a demanding Masters at Imperial. She’s only just noticed my name on the event’s invitation.

I realise I’m still holding her by the arm. I let go.

She looks slender. Her golden hair is even longer now, making her look attractive in a grown-up sort of way. There is a wave of new confidence in her mannerism. It suits her.

‘Catch up afterwards?’ she asks meekly and touches my hand.

I glance at her face to guess if she’s just being friendly. I will need to tell her about Adam-the-Boss, and most importantly, that I’ve stopped experimenting with women.
‘Sure Vera. But now wish me luck’ I smile and make my way to the podium.

Last night's dream

Nothing matters anymore. Everything has lost meaning.

I'm back from a party. The oven clock shows 4am. I sip red wine in the kitchen and think about my life again. Somehow, it means even less than it meant in the morning.

In the morning I felt nothing anyway.

I remember last night’s dreams:

I see myself flying a small airplane with my ex-boyfriend. In circles. Repeating the journey over and over again.

My mother tells me off, a front of everyone, until I finally rebel and ask her to shut up.

Adam-the-Boss reveals I need to wait ten months…